i think my mom watched the whole time
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He passed out mid-signature
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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