So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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