Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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