I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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