Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
