He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize