Just fell off a train. Bad.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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