I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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