those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
