Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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