Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
