Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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