Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
