I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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