One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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