so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
