I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He better not be in your backpack
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
