The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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