yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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