i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
