please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
