i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
