the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
