we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
