i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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