Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
that is very illegal...i love you.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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