I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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