And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
