I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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