Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
