it's not cheating when I paid for it
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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