question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
