Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Randomize
