Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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