Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
high people should be assigned attendants
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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