He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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