hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
