The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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