Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
