I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
