I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
