I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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