oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
