Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
