How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
