Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
