your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
