i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just cut my nipple shaving
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
