Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
