Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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