i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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