I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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