Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
