He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
