apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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