Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
