k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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