I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
