Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
