im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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